We Give Ourselves Flying Lessons

“Falling in love” as you call it. I don’t necessarily call it ‘falling’. I call it ‘being thrown’ because often we do not do it with any warning, with any kind of knowledge and with no chance to stop it. When you realise it’s happening you can’t go back. You just have to hope that the one who threw you will be there to catch you.
Sometimes they are, they are so ready to catch you they’ve put a bed, one that you will sink in, and you won’t scratch any part of you. Other times they’re late. You’ve hit the ground, hard and strong and hurt yourself so badly. You feel like there’s no one there, even though he’s coming. A little bit later than he should have, or a lot later.
Well… There are so many times when you’ve been thrown and you’ve hit the ground and no one’s there. No one’s coming either. Maybe their changed their mind last minute, maybe they got lost or they threw someone else as well and have to catch them first.. You never know. You, being hurt, sit there for a while, waiting for your prince charming. The one that so confidently threw you and said he’ll be there to catch you. When you realise he’s not coming, or when you see him preparing beds for other girls he’s thrown, you know the time to pick yourself up has come.
It hurts. Oh Lord it hurts worse than hitting the ground did. It hurts to just pick yourself up while around you are so many girls that are falling into the arms of love. What did ‘love’ do to you this time? Well nothing.
While picking yourself up you have to only pay attention to yourself. It will hurt even more if you see everyone safe and sound.
And you’re up. Darling, you won’t want to go up that hill too soon, believe me. You’ll stay there, and see all these girls running up only to – sometimes – find themselves in the same situation as you are. You’ll probably hate them all. The lovers, the broken hearted ones. You’ll hate everyone just for the sake of it. You’ll do it because you sure as hell don’t want to be in the same situation you were before.
And then, somehow you find yourself going one step a day higher on that hill. You probably met someone, started talking, became friends… And here you are, once more, higher than ever on that hill, ready to be thrown again.
Only this time there’s something different. This time, when you realise you’re falling, you take in consideration the ‘you’ll have to pick yourself up’ part.
That’s why they say the first heartbreak is the worst. Because, as time goes by, and as you find yourself up that hill faster and faster, you learn how to pick yourself up. You learn to be careful and sometimes, you even learn how to fly. Or so I’ve been told.
The whole idea of ‘falling’ in love does not really stick to me. You don’t just decide when to fall in love, or with whom, so why would you fall? You are being thrown without warning or any way to learn how to deal with the air running past you and your feet no longer on the ground. You can’t go back from it. You can’t just jump a little, just to be sure you’ll land safely. When it happens, it’s hard. And maybe, after many trips and falls, you’ll learn how to fly.

10

Leave a Reply